u can do better – m4w

I saw this posting on Craigslist today and the first thing I did was yell “Bullshit!”, totally startling my coworker Patty. I saved the ad to write about it later, but as it turns out, I won’t have to wait, as people have done most of the work for me. What can I add that hasn’t already been said? That he forgot to add “Its not u, its me”?

One thing is for sure though, she can definitely do better, at least in the spelling department. Dude, even if you were in a hurry, this is – supposedly – a declaration of love. Have some respect. Good spelling and grammar should be right up there with a good sense of humor and a nice set of teeth. At least in my book. But what does he know about books anyway?

And then, we have responses 3 (“No matter what you do, you can’t make people move on if they love you” type of thing. I don’t know, I used to agree with that, but I guess there is something to be said for someone behaving like an ass that makes you not like them as much). And 4 (which I didn’t write, but I could’ve. Especially the part about growing a pair. Actually, I did write something similar for the blog, but after a short, one person survey, we came to the conclusion it sounded too bitchy. Not that I particularly cared, but once in a while I like to practice restrain, see what it would feel like to have a filter.)

u can do better – m4w

Date: 2011-09-13, 3:08PM MDT
Reply to:

I know I hurt u extremely bad and I can hear it in you’re voice when we talk but u deserve so much more than I could ever give u, that’s y I’m letting u go, that’s y I’ve done the things I’ve done to help u move on. I dont think u will ever see this but I had to say something I love u and always will

PostingID: 2597078444

Response 1 (Date: 2011-09-13, 3:34PM MDT):

I’m calling bullshit! You really DON’T love her or you would do whatever it takes to make it work. Who cares what you can offer (money, job, etc.), when you are REALLY in love, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that NO MATTER WHAT, you have each other.

Response 2 (Date: 2011-09-13, 4:01PM MDT):

To the poster: You will never know if the person you should be saying this to will see it or not since you gave no indication of who it is meant for. This is a coward’s way of going about a situation. If you are lucky enough to find someone in this world that you love and that loves you back then most other things are trivial. Love will make it through the hardest times, you are giving up and it is a “cop out” to say that the other person deserves more than you. It is a way to say I give up when a simple talk could go a long way towards making a bridge. Take it from someone who has been in this position and is right now, the other person never truly moves on! The love, dreams, and the plans that were made live on in the heart. Do yourself and the person you love a HUGE favor and stop being scared and making excuses and call or text this person and let her know how much you love her and work it out!

Response 3 (Date: 2011-09-13, 6:48PM MDT):

I am not sure who this post is meant for; however, it could be me so given that I will reply in hopes that you read it. Extremely does not begin to describe how much I hurt right now, it is more like a crushing weight that makes it hard to breathe and my heart aches. The thing that hurts extremely bad is knowing that I will never talk, touch, or kiss you again, I have lost my best friend. You know that I will never move on and neither will you, we have tried to before and it never has worked. The thing that makes you not good enough is you! I have watched you for years go through horrible relationships and you gambled a lot to have one with me. You wanted a real relationship and life and you have it and now you are scared because you are so used to drama and “crazy” that you do not know how to handle it. That is normal and so is making excuses because you do not know what to do. Just know that you are not “letting me go” because as long as I have loved you and still do my heart cannot move on and it never will. It has always been yours from the moment I first saw you and it has not changed through anything or anyone. The situation we are in and endure it a difficult one, but not impossible. Our love can work it out and take us through this hard time. Don’t waste this chance we have been given after all the heartache it took to obtain it. I love you and always will. Come home.

Response 4 (Date: 2011-09-13, 6:48PM MDT):

Being that I am going through a sad sad situation at this time, and have heard the “you can do better”, line before w/ the one person that I had thought to be the one for me for the long haul…reading a post like yours is upsetting. If you really feel this way, then you need to invest in one of two things, 1. some self esteem or 2.some balls. Because if you believe people can do better than you, you have some definite personal love issues to work out. But I’m thinking its probably more of a cowardlike move and a way to get out of a situation you most likely created, and try and save some face. People don’t do hurtful things to those they love…to “help them move on”. They do those things because they are selfish, and most likely have no love for themselves, and are incapable of truly loving someone else as they deserve to be loved. So saying “u deserve better”, is one of the lamest cop outs a man can come up with. Grow a pair and be honest with her and with yourself. You just aren’t that in to her…Be honest and stop trying to do her any hero like favors by stepping out of her way so she can go find someone better than you. It’s ridiculous. And it makes me mad, because sadly…so many men use this cop out instead of using some good old fashioned honesty.

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