A Basque in Boise

A cook, a porn dwarf, and a badger: A recipe for disaster

My friend Laurel (rumor has it she’s a fan of NIC Mexico, have you heard of it? You have? How?) posted this story on my wall last night: Gordon Ramsay’s Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead In a Badger’s Den.

There are so many things wrong with this story that I had the hardest time wrapping my head around it. For starters, I spent most of the evening just trying to understand the headline. I had to google Gordon Ramsay because the name didn’t ring a bell. Actually, I thought it was Doogie Howser, M.D. The fact that the article mentions he’s Hell’s Kitchen host didn’t help. If it’s got “kitchen” in the title, I’m not watching it. I didn’t know who Percy Foster (Ramsay’s porn dwarf doppelganger) was either. What can I say, I prefer taller guys. That’s probably why I never saw his future blockbuster Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It’s Up Your A**e We Go. (Excuse me, I’ll be right back. It’s super hard to type while I’m rolling on the floor laughing my own a**e off).

Then, I had to look up badger’s den and porn. Just kidding. I did have to use the dictionary to figure out what “badger” meant, though (short-legged omnivores in the weasel family, in case you too were wondering). The story kept getting creepier and creepier. However, it made sense now that Percy would fit into the animal’s home, he being so small. Or should I say short. He was a porn star after all.

The 3’6″ actor was found “deep in an underground chamber (six feet under, literally) by Ministry of Agriculture experts ahead of a planned badger-gassing program near Tregaron, west Wales”, and investigators have not yet ruled out the possibility of suicide. Seriously? How do you decide you want to kill yourself being eaten by a badger?

My life is ok.

 

Thanks for passing by: ↓

MARIA JESUS

12 thoughts on “A cook, a porn dwarf, and a badger: A recipe for disaster

  1. Diana

    Believe me, I’ve tried really, really hard to think of a comment to write here, but I don’t find anything else to add…

  2. Diana

    Believe me, I’ve tried really, really hard to think of a comment to write here, but I don’t find anything else to add…

  3. mel

    What does this have to do with Basque history, culture or experience? Don’t abuse your position as a blogger, and why did this get posted by ETB1 on Facebook?

  4. mel

    What does this have to do with Basque history, culture or experience? Don’t abuse your position as a blogger, and why did this get posted by ETB1 on Facebook?

  5. Henar Chico

    Excuse me Melissa, but were you in that meeting 3 years ago when I talked to the person then in charge of the eitb blogs about what was expected of me as a blogger? Yeah… I didn’t think so. For your information, my position as a blogger at eitb.com is not to write exclusively about Basque history. Actually, I talk about Basque history, culture, language and Basque related events because I want to and I feel passionate about passing that information along, not because that’s what’s expected of me. What’s expected of me is that I write about whatever it is that I feel at that moment, and that I write regularly. I guess you haven’t noticed, but my blog is called “A Basque in Boise”, not “A Basque that writes about Basque history, culture or experience in Boise”. Basque people have interests and opinions about many things not related to Basque anything, can you believe it?

    Finally, I hope you don’t mind, but I redistributed your question marks; you had too many of them at the end of your comment, but were missing one in the first sentence. So instead of looking like this: “What does this have to do with Basque history, culture or experience. Don’t abuse your position as a blogger, and why did this get posted by ETB1 on facebook?????????????”, now it looks good.

    Thanks for reading!

  6. Henar Chico

    Excuse me Melissa, but were you in that meeting 3 years ago when I talked to the person then in charge of the eitb blogs about what was expected of me as a blogger? Yeah… I didn’t think so. For your information, my position as a blogger at eitb.com is not to write exclusively about Basque history. Actually, I talk about Basque history, culture, language and Basque related events because I want to and I feel passionate about passing that information along, not because that’s what’s expected of me. What’s expected of me is that I write about whatever it is that I feel at that moment, and that I write regularly. I guess you haven’t noticed, but my blog is called “A Basque in Boise”, not “A Basque that writes about Basque history, culture or experience in Boise”. Basque people have interests and opinions about many things not related to Basque anything, can you believe it?

    Finally, I hope you don’t mind, but I redistributed your question marks; you had too many of them at the end of your comment, but were missing one in the first sentence. So instead of looking like this: “What does this have to do with Basque history, culture or experience. Don’t abuse your position as a blogger, and why did this get posted by ETB1 on facebook?????????????”, now it looks good.

    Thanks for reading!

  7. Diana

    Oh, and I’m pretty sure there are Basque dwarfs who are involved in porn who were very interested reading the posting. I’m one of them.

  8. Diana

    Oh, and I’m pretty sure there are Basque dwarfs who are involved in porn who were very interested reading the posting. I’m one of them.

  9. Raku "Grande"

    Melisa, das toda la impresión de llevar mucho tiempo sin conocer varón. Prueba mientras tanto a acariciar tu entrepierna y notarás cómo tu humor cambia hasta el punto de ser capaz de disfrutar con este blog.

  10. Raku "Grande"

    Melisa, das toda la impresión de llevar mucho tiempo sin conocer varón. Prueba mientras tanto a acariciar tu entrepierna y notarás cómo tu humor cambia hasta el punto de ser capaz de disfrutar con este blog.

  11. Raku "Grande"

    Melissa… vuelve, por favor y cuéntanos qué tal te ha ido… Una cosa es que sigas mi consejo y otra que lo sigas sin descanso…

  12. Raku "Grande"

    Melissa… vuelve, por favor y cuéntanos qué tal te ha ido… Una cosa es que sigas mi consejo y otra que lo sigas sin descanso…

  13. Raku "Grande"

    Ay, espera, que ya sé lo que ocurre… que no me ha quedado muy vasco. Prueba a acariciarte mientras de fondo escuchas un sonido de albokas y txalapartas…

  14. Raku "Grande"

    Ay, espera, que ya sé lo que ocurre… que no me ha quedado muy vasco. Prueba a acariciarte mientras de fondo escuchas un sonido de albokas y txalapartas…

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