I read two articles last night, each more unbelievable than the other. I couldn’t decide which one I’d choose for today’s rant, so I’ll chew them both. I’ll start with Utah further tightening liquor laws.
First of all, I didn’t think that was even possible. Apparently mixed drinks will now be alcohol-free. However, my favorite part of the article is how
All new restaurants are also mandated to place a 4-foot high barrier nicknamed the “Zion Curtain” so Mormons will not see liquor being served to and consumed by non-Mormons.
Obviously, they got it all wrong. One thing is getting cancer due to second-hand smoking, however (and please correct me if I’m wrong) there is no such thing as second-hand drunkenness, is there? I feel like I should call the governor and explain to him that one can’t get pissed just by looking at a Cosmopolitan.
But the barrier advocates state that
Young residents could be encouraged to drink by the sound of the mixing of alcoholic beverages and the sight of attractive drinks.
Really? I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe in this whole “out of sight, out of mind” approach. I would think Mormon beliefs are stronger than the clinking sound of ice cubes or the pretty color of an Absolut Prosperity.
(Damn. They might be onto something after all, these Mormons… Looking at all the pretty drinks is making me thirsty. Or maybe it’s just 5 o’clock on a Thursday.)
If that wasn’t a shocking piece of news, I also got wind last night of IKEA’s new daycare concept: not only can women drop off their kids while they shop for a POÄNG Chaise lounge, they can now drop off their husbands too.
At least they can in Australian stores. Manland looks like a cool-ass daycare, with Foosball and X-box games, and “women are given a buzzer to remind them to collect their significant other after 30 minutes of shopping.” I’m not even going to start with the time limit.
Ok, maybe just a bit. Thirty minutes at IKEA? Who came up that? The last time I went we opened the store at 11 am and were not done shopping by closing time at 6 pm! And if you’re just going to drop him off, what’s the point of taking your husband to IKEA anyway? It’s not like Winco people, where you have to bag your own groceries. The friendly IKEA staff will help you load your purchases, free of charge. I know. My house could practically pass for an IKEA showroom. Is it worth the embarrassment (for both of you!) just to have someone along for the ride?