Please someone buy my house

Mainly so I can go back to a semi-stress free life and avoid potentially forgetting my kids at the gas station. (It’s happened before, not to me, but in my family). I realized I become temporarily but completely absent-minded when I’m preoccupied.

I’d been casually house-hunting for the last few weeks and I finally found the one I want last Sunday. I haven’t been able to relax since I saw it and decided to put mine up for sale while simultaneously making an offer on the other one. Last night I forgot my swimsuit at the gym, took a wrong turn towards the Starbucks without realizing it for like two miles, and this morning I woke up to a wide open garage door. Luckily nothing was missing, but still.

So, to stop thinking and worrying about it, I thought I’d make fun of Quicken Loans’ “YOURgage” term, which I keep hearing about every morning on their radio ad. I mean, there is nothing wrong with the concept – apparently you pick your own term – but really, “YOURgage”? It sounds like the perfect name for a porn category. Of course, I’m assuming here, I have no clue how that goes. Are there even categories? But anyway, if there were, “YOURgage” sounds like it could be one.

I refinanced with with Quicken Loans sometime ago. Sadly, they only offered me a plain-old “MORTgage” and now I feel like I’m missing out by not having a “MYgage”. Maybe if I succeed in buying this house I can have another chance. I will let you know, I’m sure you’re dying to know.

Anyway.

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• Izaskun Kortazar, NABO’s Basque languange coordinator, featured in El Correo newspaper →