Generally speaking, bump riders annoy me. Bump riders at 5:30 in the morning piss me off. Seriously dude, do you really have to be two inches from my car, pressuring me to go over the speed limit so early in the morning?
Fine. Let’s assume you’re in a hurry. Here, I got a great idea for you: what about you get your bumper up five minutes earlier tomorrow and give yourself some piece of mind? I understand five minutes can sound like an eternity if you are under water, caught in the middle of a broken beehive or listening to Church of Christ’s radio ad. However, in the grand scheme of things, five minutes is nothing. You can’t sit there and tell me with a straight face that waking up at 5:00 am as opposed to 4:55 am is going to make or break your day.
Besides, and like my sister would say, the roads are barely set at that unspeakable hour! They’re new, shiny, just you and me on our way to work, pal. So, do me a favor and back off!
- In Idaho, Two Basque Stories, as featured in The New York Times
- The room inside