A Basque in Boise

A girl’s last name

“Amatxu, I heard that taking or not my husband’s last name when I get married is my decision.”

Well, technically, yes. So is taking up smoking, but as a parent you try your best to teach your kids to make the right decisions. I like to lead by example, that’s why I quit three years ago and I never stopped being Henar Chico.

I understand it is the American way, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. Today’s men and women get married three and four times in their lives,  which makes it almost impossible for friends to keep track. (Unless you’re Mormon. I think the CIA uses their archives to track down people with false identities). Not to mention how painful it would be and the time you’d have to spend going down the list and changing all your legal documents, Facebook and email accounts, billing info on your credit cards, etc. In the case of my daughter this suffering would double as she’d also have to worry about documents in Spain.

I’m not even considering hyphenation here. Don’t get me started.

In the end, the most important thing is that she is who she is and she needs to know that keeping your last name after you marry is not only possible, it is fine. Just because it’s normal in the US to give it up, that doesn’t mean you have to. And if her future husband throws a fit about it, then it might be time to reconsider her choice.

(I guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t planning on getting married again. I probably antagonized half the men in America and all the moms).

Thanks for passing by: ↓

Egiluz NeskaBaska Conchi Amaya Oxarango-Ingram

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