A Basque in Boise

Is it?

Way to go, Reebok!

Even though I’d have been happy leaving for home right after Saturday’s Basque monthly dinner, I surrendered to peer pressure and made it all the way to 1 am before putting my foot down at Roddy’s (by that time already sporting well-worn Old Navy flip-flops instead of the 3″ blue heels I’d chosen for the night). My girl friends continued on to Grainey’s before crashing at one of their apartments downtown, once the bars closed.

Early the following morning they start messing with me via text message:

“Hey, in bed with (my other girl friend)… is it considered cheating?”

Obviously they’re joking, as they’re both straight girls with boyfriends. Sometimes you have to share a bed when you crash at someone’s house and the number of rooms is limited. But I couldn’t help but thinking, “I don’t know, is it?”

What is cheating, anyway? Does it have to be physical to be considered cheating? Most people think so, plus the degree of physical contact needed for cheating varies depending on who you talk to. Some will tell you that they didn’t have sex with that woman and go on their married way to giving speeches all over the place, some agree that a kiss never hurt anybody, while others struggle with guilt if they stray just a bit within their own thoughts.

And what about sexting? Watching XXX movies? Is that cheating if your partner doesn’t know? Those activities are pretty safe in the sense that you only need a computer or cellphone and a certain amount of imagination. No physical contact whatsoever here. At least with another human being.

I’d love to hear what you guys think.

Thanks for passing by: ↓

Diana Amaya Oxarango-Ingram Conchi Sam Snodgrass

3 thoughts on “Is it?

  1. Sam Snodgrass

    October 15, 2012

    Henar,

    I just read your question about “cheating” and your desire to hear others’ views concerning the topic.

    As in all moral/spiritual matters of life, I look to the Bible for the answers to such questions. I believe that the words of Jesus provide the best answer:

    “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to go into hell.” (Matthew 5:27-30)

    In these words, Jesus, the Son of God, provides not only the diagnosis of, but also the solution to this moral issue. He says that looking upon another woman with desire for her constitutes adultery within one’s heart. Why did He say that? He said it, because the Pharisees believed that only the commission of the actual sexual act constituted adultery. The Lord makes it clear that even illicit desires of the heart are to be considered adulterous. Why? God designed and created men and women in such a way that they were to love only one man or woman enough to commit themselves to one another in marriage. (Genesis 2:18-25) Furthermore, He intended that sexual relations would occur only within the context of that marital relationship. That meant that only desires and emotions for his wife should occupy his heart. When that is the case, it can be said that a man’s heart is pure. When he feeds desires for another woman within his heart, he is mixing desires and emotions foreign to his heart with his previously pure desires and emotions. In other words, he is adulterating his previously unadulterated desires and emotions.

    The solution to the issue is to not feed such desires and commit such acts using the members of one’s body to do so. Does the Lord really believe in mutilating one’s body to keep from engaging in such sins of the heart and sins of action? Absolutely not. How does a man feed his desires and emotions for another woman? He looks at her. He contemplates each and every thing about her that he likes. He mentally takes her in his arms for the purpose of enjoying everything that he likes about her. How can he avoid doing this within his heart? He simply must choose to live in such a way that he has eyes for only his wife. It is a decision of his heart. Likewise, in terms of his hands, which are the means by which man carries out his acts, he must live in such a way that he has hands only for his wife. He must decide within his heart that he will only use them in that way. The apostle Paul uses similar language in two of his epistles:

    “Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.” (Romans 6:11-13)

    “If then you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is on account of these things that the wrath of God will come, and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them.” (Colossians 3:1-7)

    Someone might say that, on many occasions, he has made such a decision, but continues to feed illicit desires within his heart and engage in illicit sexual acts. For that reason, it is important to recognize that both the Lord and the apostle Paul address their words to people who have already put their faith in the Lord and have been born again. (Matthew 5:1-12; Romans 6:1-10; Colossians 3:1-4) God did not design men and women to function correctly within the moral/spiritual sphere of their lives without drawing their strength for life from Him. If they do not put their faith in Him and live in dependence upon Him every day of their lives, they are unable to live in the way the He desires that they live. (John 15:1-5) The necessity of experiencing the new birth in the Lord was occasioned by Adam’s sin. (Genesis 2:16,17; 3:1-7) It resulted not only in his death, spiritually and, eventually, physically, but also that of all his descendants. (Romans 5:12; Ephesians 2:1-3) Before the new birth, the relationship that exists between God and man is that of Judge/sinner. When one puts her/his faith in the Lord, the relationship is now one of Father/child. It is that new relationship that provides a person with the resources for life that he/she needs to live in the way that God desires that people live.

    Well, that is my contribution to the discussion. I hope that you find it helpful!

    Ondo ibili,

    Sam

  2. Sam Snodgrass

    October 15, 2012

    Henar,

    I just read your question about “cheating” and your desire to hear others’ views concerning the topic.

    As in all moral/spiritual matters of life, I look to the Bible for the answers to such questions. I believe that the words of Jesus provide the best answer:

    “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to go into hell.” (Matthew 5:27-30)

    In these words, Jesus, the Son of God, provides not only the diagnosis of, but also the solution to this moral issue. He says that looking upon another woman with desire for her constitutes adultery within one’s heart. Why did He say that? He said it, because the Pharisees believed that only the commission of the actual sexual act constituted adultery. The Lord makes it clear that even illicit desires of the heart are to be considered adulterous. Why? God designed and created men and women in such a way that they were to love only one man or woman enough to commit themselves to one another in marriage. (Genesis 2:18-25) Furthermore, He intended that sexual relations would occur only within the context of that marital relationship. That meant that only desires and emotions for his wife should occupy his heart. When that is the case, it can be said that a man’s heart is pure. When he feeds desires for another woman within his heart, he is mixing desires and emotions foreign to his heart with his previously pure desires and emotions. In other words, he is adulterating his previously unadulterated desires and emotions.

    The solution to the issue is to not feed such desires and commit such acts using the members of one’s body to do so. Does the Lord really believe in mutilating one’s body to keep from engaging in such sins of the heart and sins of action? Absolutely not. How does a man feed his desires and emotions for another woman? He looks at her. He contemplates each and every thing about her that he likes. He mentally takes her in his arms for the purpose of enjoying everything that he likes about her. How can he avoid doing this within his heart? He simply must choose to live in such a way that he has eyes for only his wife. It is a decision of his heart. Likewise, in terms of his hands, which are the means by which man carries out his acts, he must live in such a way that he has hands only for his wife. He must decide within his heart that he will only use them in that way. The apostle Paul uses similar language in two of his epistles:

    “Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.” (Romans 6:11-13)

    “If then you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is on account of these things that the wrath of God will come, and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them.” (Colossians 3:1-7)

    Someone might say that, on many occasions, he has made such a decision, but continues to feed illicit desires within his heart and engage in illicit sexual acts. For that reason, it is important to recognize that both the Lord and the apostle Paul address their words to people who have already put their faith in the Lord and have been born again. (Matthew 5:1-12; Romans 6:1-10; Colossians 3:1-4) God did not design men and women to function correctly within the moral/spiritual sphere of their lives without drawing their strength for life from Him. If they do not put their faith in Him and live in dependence upon Him every day of their lives, they are unable to live in the way the He desires that they live. (John 15:1-5) The necessity of experiencing the new birth in the Lord was occasioned by Adam’s sin. (Genesis 2:16,17; 3:1-7) It resulted not only in his death, spiritually and, eventually, physically, but also that of all his descendants. (Romans 5:12; Ephesians 2:1-3) Before the new birth, the relationship that exists between God and man is that of Judge/sinner. When one puts her/his faith in the Lord, the relationship is now one of Father/child. It is that new relationship that provides a person with the resources for life that he/she needs to live in the way that God desires that people live.

    Well, that is my contribution to the discussion. I hope that you find it helpful!

    Ondo ibili,

    Sam

  3. Henar Chico

    Kaixo Sam, eskerrik asko denbora emateagatik nire sarrera irakurtzeko eta zure iritsia uzteko.

    So, what you are saying is that, in your opinion, the mere act of thinking about a person other than your partner is cheating.

    I really appreciate your input and the time you took to write out your thoughts.

    I haven’t seen you at the fronton lately, we should practice one day!

  4. Henar Chico

    Kaixo Sam, eskerrik asko denbora emateagatik nire sarrera irakurtzeko eta zure iritsia uzteko.

    So, what you are saying is that, in your opinion, the mere act of thinking about a person other than your partner is cheating.

    I really appreciate your input and the time you took to write out your thoughts.

    I haven’t seen you at the fronton lately, we should practice one day!

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