A Basque in Boise

Online dating: The joys

Several months ago I thought it might be a good idea to give online dating a chance. I started by creating an account on Plenty Of Fish, which turned out to be pretty slimy, actually. I ended up closing my profile because I would have cut my wrists if I saw one more photo of a guy holding a fucking fish. Someone should tell them not to take the name of the site literally.

However, not everybody in POF was looking for the female version of Crocodile Dundee:

“Are you itching for a new career? Try escorting, and you will!”

Wanna be an escort?

A few months and several counseling sessions later, I felt confident enough to take another crack at dating, this time by signing up with OK Cupid. The site looked less trailer-trashy than POF, and some of the guys there even had college degrees, which was an encouraging and welcomed change. I put a lot of thought into hatching out my profile because I thought that men would read it before messaging me. How naive! Girls, take my advice: Don’t even bother! Just put up a couple of pictures, with some cleavage if possible, and you’ll be set.

The only guy that actually took (what I thought to be) a genuine interest on me was an ex-Mormon father of six who wanted to start dating again – except on Mondays and Thursdays, as he was busy those days fucking his married ex-neighbor. But hey, it’s all good. They had straightened it up with the husband previous to making the schedule so he could stay home with the kids while his wife took a break.

I’ll illustrate my point with a few examples (all screenshots painfully acquired by personal experience). After putting that much effort into describing myself, I really, REALLY did not appreciate one-liner messages that didn’t touch on anything mentioned in my profile. Jesus Christ! I’m from another country, how hard is it to break the ice? I even brought up the issue to my suitors’ attention:

*PLEASE READ* Avoid a first message that only says “Hey baby” or “You’re hot”, “Whassup,” and shit like that, because the first thing that comes to mind is “WTF?”, and then I won’t answer.

All wrong 1

I also made it extremely clear in my profile that I am one of those people bothered by spelling mistakes or reading “How r u?” on a text message – hell, on any kind of message – and I urged my potential dates to please write out their words correctly.

All wrong 2

One of the things I loved the most about online dating is how sensitive and understanding men are.

And what about those who think they just logged on to WebMD? Apparently, no issue is big enough to share on a dating site. Or not big at all.


Othertimes, they are simply bat-crazy.

I’m sure you’ve encountered your share of shitty situations if you’ve ever dared to date online. For those of you girls that haven’t but are thinking about it, don’t say I didn’t warn you. However, I would like to end this post on a high note. Not everything sucks in the online dating world. I was able to find those well-acquainted with my culture, something that is extremely important to me.

We are all terrorists

Thanks for passing by: ↓

Miren Donald Aitor Steven Anne Marie

15 thoughts on “Online dating: The joys

  1. Aitor

    Henar, onena zara !!! Bost minuto igaro dodaz lurretik barreak lehertzen. Ta azkena mundiala izan da !!! 🙂
    Aiztu web-elkarguneak. Mutil interesgarriak ez dira holako lekuetatik ibiltzen honezkero zenkian lez.
    Atsegina da zutaz blogetik jakitea. Ondo baino hobeto betorkizu hasten garan urtea. Laster arte

  2. Henar Chico Post author

    Jajaja, pozten naz barre egin duzula nire harriabarrekin. Badakit arrazoia duzula, baina hain denbora gutxi daukat ateratzeko pentsatu nuen again… Jada ez diet kasurik egiten web-elkarguneei, ikasi dut! Espero dut zu ere ondo ibiltzea. Jaialdirako etorriko zara? Ondo legoke!

  3. Aitor

    Bai, bertara joango naz aurten. Alkar ikusiko dogu. Nork daki, beharbada zure bikote barria aurkeztuko daustazu, batzutan ustekabean agertzen da pertsona 😉
    Ondo ibili. Onena opa dautsut urte honetarako

  4. Henar Chico Post author

    Aupa! Ze ondo! Bada garaia beste ardaotxo bat elkarrekin hartzeko. Nik ere espero dut zure urtea bikaina izango dala. Oso laster arte!

  5. Steven

    could be worse. You might have found what you thought was THE ONE only to walk by their house one evening to find them banging someone else on their couch.

  6. Henar Chico Post author

    That would definitely suck. You have a way to put things in perspective, haha, thanks!

  7. Anne Marie

    Ahhhh online dating. I haven’t ventured into date sites, but I’ve been on some dating apps for a few months. What a nightmare they can be!! But I hear so many stories of people finding their boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses through them, so I’m keeping the hope alive. It sure is hard though. Looks like you’ve been dealing with some real weirdos! Good luck on your quest, Henar. I think I would have given up on those knuckleheads long ago.

  8. Henar Chico Post author

    I look at it differently now. It’s there, another option, I don’t really stress about it. I keep screenshots of the really wacky messages for later laughs with the girls, and respond to the ones that seem to have some substance to them. How are the dating apps working for you, Anne Marie?

  9. Anne Marie

    The dating apps are okay. My favorite so far is Hinge, because you get matched with friends of friends from Facebook so it feels like they’re not total strangers. At least you know someone in your network might think they’re decent people. haha. It only works out if you have Facebook friends on Hinge though.

  10. Henar Chico Post author

    I hadn’t heard of that app, I’ll see how it works out in Boise. Thanks!

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