The walk

By A Basque in Boise August 9, 2015 Chico, Confessions, Memories No Comments

For the last few months I’ve stopped going into the gym during the lunch hour and started taking long walks around the H-P campus instead. I’d been steadily decreasing the intensity of my workouts since my shoulder cannot take anymore the weight lifting routines I did with ease a few years ago. Lifting and playing pala were my favorite activities, but now I can’t do either one. Plus being the non-outdoorsy woman I am, I wouldn’t see the light of day for months on end when I worked and worked out inside.

I’ve come to love these daily walks so much that I’m getting a little worried about the winter. One thing is to walk in 80 or 90 degree weather wearing only a short dress or tiny tank top among the trees and the red-shirted landscaping crew, and another trying not to kill myself on the ice, bundled up from head to toe, not a toned, muscled arm working that edger in sight.

Surprisingly, walking has helped me lose weight more than I thought it would. Not that I had any expectations when I started; it has been an added bonus. However, the best is letting my mind roam free as I tread the three-mile loop around H-P. Most days I start the journey thinking about how awesome life will be when I meet Balenziaga and he finally realizes we are just perfect together. I mean, I’ve shown our picture around and everybody agrees!

Invariably though, real life worries start sipping through my fantasy pushing my boyfriend away until I’m forced to deal with reality. The fact that no matter how things are going back home I can only be present via Skype or by commenting on Facebook, really sucks. Except for two weeks out of the year, I miss the good stuff and even worse, I can’t help with the bad. Another mile and I can’t shake this guilty feeling. I knew when I left Ortuella that the time would come when I’d feel like this. But that’s the thing about decisions; you can’t make one and keep both choices.

Halfway through the walk and I’ve sort of made peace with myself, at least for the time being. “Oh, hey, how’s it going?” The blonde landscaper is taking care of the lawn in one of those monster mowers and he’s got the sleeves rolled up in such a way his T-shirt now looks more like a red wife-beater and holy shit those arms! Where was I? I try to think back to Balenziaga, how disappointed he would feel if he caught me thinking about another man’s biceps.

As I approach the starting point and I head for the bush where I hide my badge so I don’t have to deal with it bouncing for an hour, I feel good. A little sweaty, a little tired, but way more content than when I started. There are always going to be things out of my control, so I am going to focus on what I can do considering the circumstances. I’m going to work on what’s possible and forget the impossible. I can feel the energy of positive thinking making its way though my body. Everything is going to be ok.

And Balenziaga, you just wait.