Jello-butt

I’ve never been a soccer mom, but I did drive a minivan for a short period of time, while both of my kids were young and I had to carry the double-stroller around everywhere I went. It was convenient, but I hated every single minute I spent at its wheel. I felt emasculated, and I don’t even have, err… an Adam’s apple.  The day we sold that Honda Odyssey was the happiest day of my life.

Have you ever gone grocery shopping with a baby and a toddler and a double-stroller? It’s hell, I tell you. The kids get bored and crabby, you get tired and crabby, and there is no place to put all the stuff you need to buy in a single trip. A miserable experience no matter how you look at it.

I went to Target one day. Took the double-stroller out of the van. Unfolded it. Unbuckled the baby carrier with my daughter in it and clicked it in place onto the stroller. Took my son out of the car-seat and placed him on the stroller. I listened to both of them whine. I went into the store and didn’t come out until an hour later. They never stopped whining. Lifted the baby carrier out of the stroller and onto the backseat of the Odyssey, and buckled it in, while she whined. Took my son out of the stroller and I buckled him in too, while he whined. I started loading the things I bought on the van when I realized the cashier missed a big-ass diaper pack at the bottom of the stroller. The mere thought of unbuckling the kids and placing them in the stroller once again (while they whined!) was too much to bear. So I left.

Now, what can I say? Those days are over and my kids are older. They eat on their own, they’ve been potty-trained forever, they shower alone, choose their own outfits, and once in a while they even make me breakfast. We crack jokes at each other – they make fun of my accent in English and I give them crap about the way they speak Spanish. They call me “jello-butt” and “squishy-belly”, and I don’t even care. Andoni made me quit smoking, a remarkable feat. Even more impressive, Maitane is making me bake, matching aprons and all.

I’ll take snuggle time over dancing at Dirty Little Roddy’s any day of the week, including Saturdays.

• ← Boise State Professor Nere Lete helping out Madonna’s tour
• Intensive Basque language course underway at Boise State University →