A Basque in Boise

The rule

I’m lazy today. I don’t feel like writing, so I’m reposting. Besides, this one never changes, only the people involved. Or at least one of them.


So, it’s been two days since you slept/made out/messed around with him, and haven’t heard zip yet. He’s got your number, you’ve been friends on Facebook for a while, hell, he even knows where you live because you were a little bit tipsy on Saturday to drive yourself home (at least he drove you home). Obviously, he’s going by the rules, you say to yourself. I mean, there is a rule for that in dating, isn’t there? Guys are supposed to drop off the edge of the planet for a couple of days (or is it three?) before they call you. At least guys in their 20’s/30’s. I don’t know. I got married at 21 and stayed there for 13 years. I’m pretty much in the dark when it comes to dating in the US. But that’s what my friend Ruth who has a 22-year-old daughter says. On the other hand, I talked to my other friend, Dora, not long ago who had a thing with a 43-year-old man, and four days later she’s still waiting for her phone to light up.

Hold on! Maybe his phone died. Or he left it at Doug’s, he went there to watch the game I think. It could also be a family emergency. He did say his mom wasn’t doing too good. That’s it, he had to catch the red-eye flight to New York and didn’t have a chance to let you know. Or that deal he was working on… If the customer finally called back to iron out the details he can’t possibly be thinking about anything else. Everybody knows that only Utah shuts down completely on Sundays.

Maybe sex wasn’t the best ever because you got sick a couple of times during the ordeal. But in my opinion, running to the bathroom to get rid of your dinner should not stop your date from talking to you again. On the contrary, it should be the reason to bypass the rule and call up the next day to make sure you’re ok. But fine, I’ll play devil’s advocate and chuck up his silence to being grossed out. Next time stick to water, see if that works better for you. Also, try waiting until the second date to discuss how many kids you will have and where they’ll go to college. I don’t see anything wrong with a bit of planning ahead, but you could (and probably did) scare the shit out of your man.

But, what if you did everything right and had a great time? What’s the deal then? Are you still supposed to wait for the guy to call? After all, this is the 21st century, there shouldn’t be any rules preventing you from making the first move, don’t you think? We are modern women, we’re older (well, at least I am), busy, and with enough headaches already to add more stress to our lives. We are empowered, right?

Right. But you know what? No matter the century, guys are guys. They think different from girls. Ok, let me rephrase that. Girls think. Do you really believe that men sit at home after you (they) left and agonize about how long to wait before they call you? Counting down the days until it’s safe to text you? Wondering if you’re thinking about them too? Hell no! They are way simpler than that. If they like you, they’ll call you, and they’ll do it soon. Otherwise, they won’t. Sometimes they do like you, but their wives probably wouldn’t.

So, it’s been two days since you slept/made out/messed around with him, and haven’t heard zip yet. Deal with it girl. Move on. He already did.

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