Muse wanted – w4m – 40 (Anywhere)

I can’t remember the last time I felt like writing about anything other than updating readers on various Basques events, which only requires minimal skills at copying and pasting. This bugs me a great deal because not so long ago I could find interesting topics all over the place. I used to have to pace myself to only one post a day so I wouldn’t bore people even more than I already did. Then, I want to say all of a sudden although it could have been gradually, I can’t really remember, I stopped. I ran out of things to say, stories to tell, funny anecdotes to relate. I was thinking about it yesterday, what is it that keeps me frozen and unable to share my experiences. I think I knew the answer all along, but I was just able to face it last night.

I don’t like it one bit.

I feel embarrassed again, what the hell, the same way I did back in 2008, when I started the blog. I care what some people might think of my writing, of my stories, when I hadn’t for so long. It’s so annoying. This used to be a space where I could express myself freely -with certain limitations due to its public nature- and I miss it. I miss writing. I miss recording the random memories from my childhood that pop up once in a while. Like yesterday, for example, when the year 2000 came to mind, and how far away in the future it seemed to us twelve year-old girls playing at the park in Ortuella. We enjoyed imagining where we’d end up, how old we’d be, whether we’d be married or travelling around the world. Now, I have almost forgotten what the hell I was doing because it is so far away indeed, but in the past.

Or maybe I need a muse. Bad.

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