Stuck

By A Basque in Boise September 14, 2018 Chico, Confessions No Comments

Other than sharing whatever Basque related news I can find, one of my favorite things about having a blog is being able to express my thoughts in writing. Not only am I forced to think about the issue at hand, but it also helps relieve anxiety when I finally get them out in the open. Even if I don’t publish the post and just keep it in my drafts, having to structure the mess in my head has proven to be very useful.

Unfortunately, there is a not-so-wonderful side to keeping a record of your past experiences. I don’t usually go back and read my old posts —I get embarrassed and I have to fight the urge to delete them— but I did today. It was quite the eye-opener. You see, I thought of myself as someone who always marches ahead, who does her best to change the things in life that don’t bring joy or are stressful.

As it turns out, though, I’m still dealing today with much of the same shit I was struggling against a couple of years ago. I had to do a double take on the dates, as some of the posts I could have written this week, pretty much word for word. Apparently, I am not as good at changing as I thought I was. I’ll have to change that too. Crap.