The benefits of a raw food diet

By A Basque in Boise November 6, 2013 Chico, Opinion, Politically Incorrect, Sarcasm No Comments

My friend Miren P. posted the Spanish version of this article on my Facebook today because it reminded her of a conversation we had last night during our get together. It talks about this family in Holland who only eat raw vegetables and fruit. The first thing I noticed when I opened the link was the complete lack of joy on the boy’s face, as well as the bags under his eyes. I then started reading the article and thought, no wonder. I too would be gloomy as all get out if I had to eat raw cabbage and onions all day. Not to mention the money I’d have to spend on Beano tablets.

As I kept reading the article though, I started to think that maybe going on this diet wouldn’t be too horrible. Fine, my kids might not end up growing to their full potential, but being 5 ft 2 in has never hinder my ability to lead a comfortable life, plus they’re well on their way to being taller than me next week. So lack of height would definitely be a non-issue. On the other hand, the benefits provided by a raw vegan diet are many:

You don’t even have to own a microwave! Shit, even I can cook raw stuff
Food never gets cold
Healthy
No cute dead animals on your conscience
The backyard can become your closest grocery store
As your kids grow (slower and not so much), they’ll maximize each piece of clothing you buy them
Way more free time to do whatever you want as no cooking is required
Way more free time to do whatever you want as no cleaning is required due to the lack of cooking

Don’t worry if you hear a long, loud, painful howl next week. It’s just my kids reacting to the news of their new diet.