The “change”?

By A Basque in Boise July 30, 2014 Chico, Confessions, Random No Comments

Looks like menopause won’t differ that much from having the period.

People sometimes ask me what the highlight of my trip was when I get back to Boise from visiting Bilbao. Usually, I think about that trip to the beach with the kids or the girls night out to Santurtzi that stretched out to breakfast the next day in Ortuella. This year, however, the answer is not what you would expect. Actually, it’s not what I expected either, nor would I call it “a highlight”, but it’s what I’ve had on my mind ever since I returned.

(Reader discretion advised, TMI coming right up).

All women know that periods don’t always arrive on schedule. Even those of us who enjoy a certain regularity can experience anomalies under stressful or difficult circumstances. That’s why I didn’t worry too much when I got mine a week earlier in July, blaming it on the trip and the excitement of the days before my departure. I did experience a six-month span without the joys of menstruation when I was 16 – before I ever knew about manly love – which made it even more enjoyable as there was nothing to worry about on that end. However, when my period reappeared only two weeks later this month, no matter how close to the plane ride back to Boise that was, I couldn’t help but feeling shocked and a little scared that “the change” is already coming.

Two periods in 20 days. Definitely a red flag (no pun intended) when you’re not 20 anymore. I can take the pain of dying my hair every three or four weeks, the wrinkles surrounding my eyes (just a few so far), the growing size of my clothes as the years go by, but the realization that soon I won’t be able to get pregnant if I wanted to, it’s depressing. Not that I was planning on it, please. Can you imagine? I already hurt everywhere when I get up in the mornings, so imagine adding an extra 30 pounds to this body of mine. Let’s not even talk about the size of my boobs for the following months!

Change is good, they say, and I don’t disagree with that statement. However, I’ve never been the best at dealing with it. Change and I have a love-hate relationship and, even though the results are invariably good after it’s all said and done, the journey, oh my god the journey to the other side has been exhausting every time. I know it’s coming, it’s around the corner, but I’m not ready yet to accept old age. I just recently came to terms with some issues I carried around for years so please, nature, give me a break!