Ramblings

I talk a lot. I’m sure some would say I talk so much I’m annoying. And loud, especially when I laugh. Some even bring their headphones to work in hopes they will tune me out, but I have a feeling they can still hear me. On the contrary, others like that about me, and obviously, I like those people back. I talk in person, on the phone, and on Skype, with or without a camera. Don’t get the wrong idea though, I don’t talk all the time, sometimes I text, and Facebook, and chat, and email, and write on the blog.

I have a big mouth… (figuratively, stop it!). I used to be able to do it, but now I couldn’t keep my feelings and thoughts to myself even if my life depended on it. Besides, I just don’t see the point. Ok, I do see it, I just chose to let them out. If you know me, you know me! In the course of a normal day I often tell the same story three of four times, in Spanish (if I’m sharing with my Amigas group or my family), Basque (if I’m sharing with my Basque friends), and English (when I share it with my two sidekicks at work, for example). I keep thinking that if I talk/text/email/chat long enough I’ll get to bed with an empty head, I will close my eyes, and sleep without a worry in the world, like I always did. And every night I have to wait for tomorrow night to find out if it will happen then. Even going to the gym everyday doesn’t help. My body is tired, but nobody has come up yet with an elliptical for the mind.

I don’t lie, either. There are times when I know I should shut it, but I won’t. What you see is what you get. What’s the point of pretending anyway? Sooner or later everything comes out. Maybe I’m overcompensating for a whole year of half-lies, white lies (black lies), outright-look-into-your-face lies; all kinds of lies. And just when I’m starting to think that maybe this is how it goes, that people hide who they are and what they do, that people can’t be trusted, that people lie, just then, I find there are those out there who speak my language – in more levels than one – who are not perfect (who is?), but are honest, interesting and fun. And they make me look at bare trees?

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