Stumped by the Christmas present buying dilemma?

The holidays are tough: your bottom grows while your bottom-line shrinks. A myriad of party invitations fill up your calendar, including the dreaded annual Christmas dinner organized by the people at work. All this socializing takes up a pretty big chunk of your already almost nonexistent free time, which seriously messes with the Christmas shopping you have yet to accomplish in the next few days.

Kids are pretty easy to please. If they’re younger, they write that list for Santa so you’ll know exactly what they want. If they’re older, give them money, an iPhone or iPad, more money. Your wife shouldn’t be a problem either. She might not write a list, but I very much doubt that she hasn’t made it clear by now what she’d like for Christmas. Guys are a bit more difficult. I used to go with a watch or a gift card from the Home Depot, and it always worked. I do have other gift ideas for the man in your life though, but I rather share them with you privately.

But… What about the scorned woman in your life? That’s a delicate matter that should be handled with care, as you don’t want to be the person who reignites her fury with an inadequate present. As a favor to you, I took some time from my busy holiday season and researched some ideas to make your life easier:

The Perfect Man key chain doll (I own this one, outstanding). He’s incredibly romantic and knows how to get to a woman’s heart. She’ll be delighted with phrases like “The ball game really isn’t that important. I’d rather spend time with you. Why don’t we go to the mall?” or “Honey, can’t your mom stay for another two weeks?”. Check out the size of those feet.

The Ex 5-Piece Knife Set with Unique Red Holder. Designed by Raffaele Iannello, this unique 5-piece knife set with holder adds a touch of whimsy to any kitchen. It can also scream psycho, though.

Dead Fred Pen Holder and  Fred Ouch Toothpick Holder. Where usefulness and catharsis meet.

The “Ex Lover” Woodoo Doll. No explanation or instructions needed. Pins included.

I scoured the web trying to find presents for scorned men, but I couldn’t find any—gifts or scorned men. If you know one though, I guess the woodoo doll would work just fine.

[12/07/12] A reader suggests another present you can use for both sexes. I like it quite a lot, and it doesn’t seem very expensive. It’s a medium-size stone engraved with the words Shikata ga nai, a phrase meaning “it cannot be helped” or “nothing can be done about it”.

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