Fake it until you make it
That’s what Matthew Perry’s character Ryan King did on last night’s episode of the sitcom series Go On (well, it was last night for me, that’s the beauty of Hulu). His wife died while texting and driving, and he was ordered to attend group therapy sessions in order to cope. He was hoping to do nothing for his birthday because his wife always planned big events, way in advance, and he hated it. But the bunch of weirdos that make up his therapy group were not having any of that and planned a “Ryan King scavenger hunt” to celebrate the day. Needless to say, he whines about it until the group leader tells him to shut it and fake it until he makes it. He ends up having the greatest birthday of his life. Yes, it was a shocking conclusion to the episode.
I can’t even fake it, how the hell am I going to make it? Whether is happiness, sadness, stress or grumpiness (this one is specially noticeable), you can tell I’m feeling it. It’s a little annoying at work, where you have to appear semi put-together, but other than that it’s great for people: only one quick look at your face and they know whether to come closer or run away as fast as they can. I’m pretty sure it’s genetic, as my mom and sister behave pretty much identically. My daughter is on the same track too, if this is any indication. My mom is passive-aggressive; Raku and I are simply explosive. I think sometimes about how it would be if I moved back home and rented a house with my sister somewhere. We’d live in harmony amid fits of uncontrollable laughter and verbal abuse. She’d cook and I’d clean.
Other times, I think there might also be an element of laziness in my inability to fake it. So many things going on every day, I got no energy to feign a smile when I don’t feel it. I’m mesmerized by people who can put their feelings aside and you’ll never know in a million years that they’re having a crappy day. Is there a class for that? Or is it an acquired skill but I never took the time to practice? Does it even work? What if you fake it and fake it but never make it? Does it mean you tried your best or did your life turned out a lie in the end?
